What I need more than almost anything else is someone to take care of me. But since I have no significant other, and my family has turned their backs on me- or assaulted me, there is no one to take care of me but me. It's been this way for years, and I convinced myself that I am okay with it. But the truth is, I'm not. I'm not okay with it at all. I yearn and need for someone to take care of me, to care about me, to love me. At the moment the closest person I have to that is my therapist, who I have to pay to care, but it's better than nothing.
My biggest need of course is to be able to move to somewhere that I feel safe. In order to do that, with my inability to work full time, I'm going to need some serious donations, then someone to co-sign for me. I have so much debt from medical bills, credit cards that I cannot pay, my credit score is shot. And though I've done all the things you're supposed to do, working hard, college, not using cards unless in an emergency....here I am. I have to move away from here. To put it bluntly, I am not safe here. I need to move. And to do that before I can obtain full time employment? Will probably be upwards of $5000. But due to where I am now I wake up screaming my lungs out, and I shake every time I hear footsteps or someone calls my name. I am not safe, and that affects my entire being. Every moment here is rooted in terror, bodily, mortal terror. I'll have to set up a project for that too. Maybe call it "Move" or "Project Safe". I have to get out of here, and clearly I need help to be able to do that.
But in the meantime, I'd also like to pursue this. Something that makes me happy. Laura and her sisters as far as I know were never sexually or in any way abused. But I have been following Laura all my life. Both her and her example. If it weren't for her, I don't think I'd be as okay as I am today. Even as a child, I used her books to escape my home life. Now as I travel on the road to recovery as a grown woman, I want to travel where Laura traveled, and get some help along the way.
I think Laura would help, if she were alive. She might also beat up some of my family members.
